


fairy tail but... it's a self insert.

by z0mb1ez



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Future, Avatar Arc (Fairy Tail), Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Dai Matou Enbu | Grand Magic Games Arc, Fairy Tail Seven Year Time Skip, Fairy Tail but it's a self insert, Mild Blood, Minor Original Character(s), Multi, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, One-Sided Attraction, Original Character Death(s), Pining, Please be warned this is a fairy tail fanfic there will be blood, Self-Insert, Tartaros Arc (Fairy Tail), Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 08:08:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28596723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/z0mb1ez/pseuds/z0mb1ez
Summary: Valentine Jadesworth, a simple Artic wizard, travels to Magnoila in hopes of joining her former guild, Fairy Tail. With her arms full of luggage and body thrumming from head to toe with magic, she hopes for another start. Follow along, on a new adventure.
Relationships: (also onesided/implied maybe), (maybeee smirk face...), (one sided), (one sided/implied), (who knows who itll be... smirk face), Gray Fullbuster/Juvia Lockser, Gray Fullbuster/Lucy Heartfilia, Gray Fullbuster/Original Female Character(s), Jellal Fernandes/Erza Scarlet, Mirajane Strauss/Original Character(s), Natsu Dragneel/Lisanna Strauss, Natsu Dragneel/Lucy Heartfilia, Natsu Dragneel/Original Female Character(s), Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Sting Eucliffe/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 6





	fairy tail but... it's a self insert.

**Author's Note:**

> this... is a mess. LMAOOOO

Valentine beamed. She’d found the absolute most  _ adorable  _ outfit to ever exist and she was totally gonna buy it. Maybe she’d catch the attention of some cute wizard in town.

  
  


The thought of getting a boyfriend, maybe even a girlfriend, sent her heart into a spiral of fluttering. Her cheeks dusting a pretty pink against her pale skin.

  
  


With a little more pep in her step, she bounced on over to the counter holding the 2-piece in her arms. There, she dropped the clothing and smiled at the middle-aged man at the cash register.

  
  


“Hi! How much for this outfit here?” she asked, gesturing to what she dropped on the counter. The man looked down and checked the tags quickly, adding up her total, “15,000 jewels.” he answered, “Is that all?”

  
  


_ 15,000 jewels.  _

  
  


No way in  _ hell _ was she paying 15,000 jewels for this! What kind of no-good, over-priced, good-for-nothing store was this? How  _ dare  _ they charge a girl this good looking... so much money? Maybe she could―get it reduced? Yeah! Use that  _ cute girl charm _ !

  
  


_ Here goes nothing... _

  
  


“Awe, 15,000 jewels..? I’m afraid.. I don’t have enough!” she fake-gasped, sitting on the counter. “Maybe.. you could reduce the price for me? It’d be a big help!” she looked at him from underneath her eyelashes, pouting her lips and leaning over him. “Help a lil’ lady out, will ya’?”

  
  


\---

  
  


_ Score _ ! Valentine thought proudly. Not only did she absolutely  _ swoon  _ that bastard, but she got the outfit. For  _ free _ ! What a steal!

  
  


Cute girl charm  _ always  _ comes in handy.

  
  


So there she was, padding down the streets of Magnolia, hips swinging with newborn confidence. She’d moved down there about 2 weeks ago, and was pratically just settling in. It was a―rough journey, but she made it and with just 400 jewels in her pocket. And... she was already likin’ it here.

  
  


Magnolia was home to the legendary―and famous but not so famous―guild, Fairy Tail. Which was full of powerful wizards from pratically everywhere in the world. Their master, Makarov, was a powerful wizard himself. And  _ god  _ did she idle Mirajane! Not only was she the goddamn  _ prettiest  _ woman Valentine had ever seen, but have you  _ seen _ She-Devil? The sound of her heart pounding rung through her ears, blood rushing to her face. She was  _ hopeless _ ―and partially gay―but hopeless all the less.

  
  


Maybe she could join Fairy Tail and... snag a date with her?

  
  


Eee! Imagine, a date with  _ Mirajane Strauss _ . Holy crap, that’d be great! Valentine would  _ kill  _ to hold her hand. It’s probably just as soft as it looked! She was so cute on  _ Sorcery Weekly _ , would she be just as adorable in person? God, she wanted to kiss those cute lil’ cheeks. 

  
  


Oh, her silly little celebrity crush....

  
  


So wrapped up in her thoughts, she didn’t realize she’d come crashing into somebody.

  
  


“Hwah? Oh, jeez. I’m sorry!” Valentine lifted her head, staring up at the taller person and―

  
  


“Holy  _ fuck _ .. are you Salamander?” she gaped. His vibrant purple hair and awful but  _ charming  _ (where did that come from?) smirk is what made it stand out. Not only that but that gaudy outfit he had on couldn’t make it any more obvious. It was... endearing to say the least.

  
  


Wait―where _did_ that come from?

  
  


“Oh? You a fan?” Salamander smirked, sending a wink her way. As soon as it processed that he was flirting with  _ her _ , a regular ol’ citizen, her heart began to beat erratically. Her chest tightened, and she could tell she was as red as can be. There wasn’t a logical reason for Valentine to be  _ this  _ flustered, because all she could think was ‘ _ yeah this guy is hot’  _ and it was messing with her mindstate!

  
  


“F―Fan?” she choked out, cheeks increasingly reddening with that wretched  _ stutter _ . 

  
  


“Yeah? Ya’ seem like one... cute.” he grinned cheekily, and there was that increasing alarm in heart rate and she couldn’t  _ breathe  _ again and god when was it so hot in Magnolia?

  
  


“Ah, err... not entirely I―”

  
  


“Igneel!”

  
  


“Hah?” The dense crowd surrounding the magician, and the magician himself turned towards the abrupt interruption. An average sized boy stood awkardly, figure slumped over in obvious disappointment, brows drawn together. “You’re... not... Igneel?” he tried, and Valentine could only guess that the cogs in his head were slowly turning and the pieces were coming together that this  _ wasn’t  _ Igneel (whoever that was..).

  
  


“No, I’m not... do ya’  _ not _ know me?” Salamander’s smirk dropped, and his features morphed into a look of irritation. With that, Valentine’s heart slowed down and―that was so weird? It was like... she was under a spell... wait.

  
  


Was he using a  _ charm spell _ ? What a cheeky son of a bitch!

  
  


“Uhm... no.”

  
  


Absolute hell broke loose.

  
  


\---

Honestly? Valentine felt bad for the guy. He’d walked into the wrong crowd... unfortunately, but hey at least he’d gotten her out of that dreaded charm spell. She watched as the crowd dispersed following Salamander’s sudden exit, then her eyes wandered back to the boy. He was lifting himself to his feet, slowly but surely, and patting off the grime on his clothes. They pummeled him  _ pretty badly _ .

  
  


“Uh, hey!” She’d jogged over before she realized it. Curse her friendly impulses. “Ah, genuinely didn’t think this one through... but, thank you,” she bowed, dusty brown hair falling over her shoulders, “I owe you one.”

  
  


For a moment it was silent, the noise of the ever lively and bustling city in the background was the only sound keeping Valentine from succumbing to the embarrassment of the unfortunately awkward situation. Did he even hear her?

  
  


“Thank you... for what?” she could hear him whisper, obviously not to her though because his cat replied just as confused, “I dunno’ but if she owes us maybe we can get some food!” he cheered. Valentine’s face contorted and twitched with anger, brows furrowed. They didn’t even―

  
  


“I can  _ hear  _ you, smartasses,” she grumbled, standing up straight. “And, you kind of snapped me out of that jackass’s charm spell. Thanks, again.”

  
  


Another stretched moment of silence. These brats were  _ really  _ empty headed, weren’t they?

  
  


“He... had a charm spell?”

  
  


“Oh for fucks sake!”

  
  


\---

  
  


They weren’t just brainless idiots, they were  _ pigs  _ too. She cringed in digust as they very quickly and mindlessly chowed down on the food  _ she’d  _ bought for them. Which costed quite a lot of jewels, her pockets were practically  _ empty _ ! These jerks sure did eat a lot.

  
  


“Uhm... you seem to be enjoying this, right?” she tried, hopefully they’d be able to actually talk and  _ not  _ just sit here stuffing their faces with she watched right? Who even were they?

  
  


“Mhm! fank’ mu fer thuh fud!” The pink-haired boy exclaimed and of  _ course  _ didn’t swallow. Gross.

  
  


“Can you at  _ least  _ swallow first? Like, that’s all I ask from you,” she was writhing with anger, or uhm―trying not to. Because frankly? This was really... animalistic. Do they even have the slightest bit of knowledge on basic table manners? It was like they were raised by wolves.

  
  


Well, she guessed they didnt because they continued to eat away. Valentine watched, engrossed and torn by the waste of  _ money― _

  
  


“What’s your name?” the blue cat sitting on the table had asked. Maybe he could sense her tension.. annoyance? Anger, maybe? 

  
  


“Valentine Jadesworth! I’m a wizard... well not a full-fledged one because I haven’t joined a guild yet, but I do practice ice and water magic, kind of like a unison raid... but in one person! I tried to get into some guild named Sabertooth once... but they were kind of arrogant idiots who were... yuck. Plus, this one dude kept oogling at me while I fought! Maybe it was because I stripped to fight... and that sounds weird―” she paused, “Oh my did I ramble? I’m really sorry! Kind of got carried away.”

  
  


“Nope, it’s fine,” the boy strugged, “I’m Natsu, by the way. We were just listening because you sound a  _ lot  _ like our friend Gray,” he stated, waving his hand absentmindedly, “Like you guys both strip to fight! And he uses ice magic. Maybe I’ll introduce you to him.” Natsu continued, introducing Valentine to his cat, and talking a little about himself. Despite the... lack of manners... he seemed like a  _ very  _ interesting person.

  
  


“You’re friends with wizards too? Is  _ Gray  _ in a guild? Maybe I can join his guild! He seems fun―err, but speaking of guilds... Isn’t Fairy Tail in this town?” she asked. Natsu and the cat, who she’d learned’s name was  _ Happy _ , nodded estatically, “Yeah! Gray and I work at Fairy Tail.”

  
  


“You’re a  _ wizard?”  _ she gaped, eyes bugging out of their sockets. She’d been talking to a wizard the entire time?

  
  


“Uh, duh? I thought I mentioned that.”

  
  


“You obviously didn’t you nitpick, because I just fuckin’ asked ya’!”

  
  


Natsu and Happy turned to look at each other, leaning in and whispering.

“She’s got a potty mouth,” Natsu whispered, glancing back at Valentine. Happy nodded and hummed in agreement. “And an attitude too,” he snickered and Natsu joined in on the laughter.

  
  


“I can still  _ hear  _ you!” 

  
  


\---

Well, hijinks ensued and Valentine ended up on a boat, held hostage. It was all a blur really. She’d agreed to join Salamander’s  _ stupid  _ yacht party, only to be taken with about a hundred other girls on the damned ship. The bounds were magic deflectant and she couldn’t slip free. She was basically stuck because she  _ thought  _ this loser was a Fairy Tail wizard.

  
  


Valentine growled, thrashing in her bounds and protesting loudly, “Oi you  _ bastard _ ! Let me go, I’ll tear you apart once I break free from these!” she snapped, visibly struggling. Her physical strength was pretty average but these bonds were  _ tight  _ and she probably wasn’t breaking free without second-party help.

  
  


“If ya’ wanted money you  _ jerk  _ you could’ve asked! You didn’t have to kidnap all these women!” she shouted, attempts futile. She was draining energy from trying to escape like this, so she settled for slumping against a wall. “You should be glad these are deflecting all my magic, I’m not gonna waste anymore power but once I’m out of here you’re gonna get it from me alright!”

  
  


Salamander cackled, this  _ fake _ , this  _ phony _ . How could she have fallen for this? Being  _ naive  _ isn’t one of Valentine’s biggest character traits. Undoubtedly, it’s not a character trait for her at  _ all _ . She was pretty intellectual, unless under pressure, she’s a very level headed thinker.

  
  


_ But _ now she’s here.

  
  


“Your fault for fallin’ for it.” he shrugged, “Money doesn’t come easy, cutie,” he smiled wickedly. Valentine seethed with anger. This jerk― “So, I’m gonna sell all of you pretty ladies, and get millions!”

  
  


_ Huh? _

  
  


“No way in  _ hell  _ are you sellin’ me! Ya’ hear me? I’m not goin’ anywhere with you―”

  
  


A loud crash echoed through the lower deck of the boat, and tumbling in came― _ Natsu _ ?

  
  


He’d pratically busted through the deck! A small fire dancing around the broke floorboards, while a mix of debre, dust and smoke clouded the area. Salamander and his men whipped their heads towards the source of the commotion, jaw’s dropping at the sight of the mage.

  
  


“Surprise!”

  
  


\---

  
  


After quickly making her way out to the deck, she had Happy release her bounds. Rubbing her sore wrists against the cloth of her satin dress, she flashed the cat a quick smile. “Thanks bud, I would say I owe you one but you’d probably eat all my money again,” she shivered visibly at the thought. She was pratically completely broke now.

  
  


“Aye! No problem, now show us some of that magic because there are men comin’!” he pointed at the small swarm of man, weapons and magic drawn as they charged at her. She looked at Happy, nodded and quickly sprinted to the edge of the boat. Holding her breath, she dived off and into the water. 

  
  


Of course this surprised the blue cat. He said  _ show him her magic _ , not  _ forfeit and jump into the ocean.  _ Maybe she had a plan? Or was she just taking the opportunity to swim away and leave Happy all alone? Or what if―

  
  


“Artic Water: Rise!” a sudden shout drew Happy’s attention to the water, where it began to rise and sway the ship. It eventually rose into a large wave, towering over it. If  _ that  _ were to crash into the boat it’d wipe everybody out, and Valentine figure that, so she kept it still. Instead, using her magic to send a fury of water spears at the enemies. 

  
  


They got into fighting stance, ready to easily deflect the liquid when it’d suddenly solidifed into ice, catching them by surprise and easily allowing Valentine to pin the down. She grinned then send a wave of water their way, watching as some had released themselves from the ice spears and tried to disipate the attack, only for her to once again turn it into ice, encasing them within it. 

  
  


Slowly, she lowered herself onto the deck, squeezing the water out of her hair and beaming. Valentine had  _ never  _ fought an actual enemy before.

  
  


Happy stared, quite impressed with her magic, “That was... amazing! You control water  _ and  _ you can turn it into ice? Cool!”

  
  


There goes her ego.

  
  


\---

  
  


Valentine now stood in front of the Fairy Tail guild members. They all seemed pretty friendly and  _ oh my  _ is that Mirajane? She was practically bubbling with excitement.

  
  


“Aye! Natsu’s back!” a foreign voice yelled. Of course she didn’t know who it was, everybody in this guild were completely a mystery to her (well other than Natsu and such). 

  
  


The owner of the voice was a darked haired boy who seemed around her age, he was wearing a white short-sleeved button up, which had the collar popped and the first few buttons open, and some dark green slacks (with a pocket chain!). He looked...  _ kind  _ of familiar, yet she couldn’t quite put her finger on it.

  
  


“Hell yeah I am! You wanna go?” Natsu challenged, fists clenching and igniting with flames. Oh yeah! Did she forget to mention?  _ Natsu  _ is the actual Salamander of Fairy Tail. Surprising, I know.

  
  


“Fuck yeah! Bring it, slanty eyes!” the latter roared, slamming his fist against his open palm and charging at Natsu. Suddenly, a line of uncontained ice shot into his direction, causing Natsu to jump back.

  
  


Ice...

  
  


_ Ice _ !

  
  


_ Natsu... mentioned somebody who used ice, right? Gary..? Greg! No―uh―Gray!  _ she beamed,  _ This must be Gray, the ice wizard! _

  
  


And even with a name to the face, she still couldn’t make out a clue who he might be. The name even rung a tiny bell in the back of her skull, but nothing added up. Her memory of him was hazy, so it could be assumed it’d been a long time since she’d seen him then. But― who was  _ he? _

“Hey! Sorry, I didn’t notice you standing there, you must be new right?” a soft and gentle voice asked, drawing Valentine from her thoughts. Her face relaxed―she was probably scowling, yuck―and she turned to the kind white haired woman standing by her side. Her hands were placed in front of her and a kind smile accompanied her gentle features. Mirajane Strauss, she recognized her as. 

  
  


“O-Oh! New, yeah. I’m Valentine Jadesworth, that no-brainer Natsu brought me along,” she laughed heartedly, “You’re Mirajane, right?” a small smile grazed her lips at the nod she’d gotten. Such a kind woman!

  
  


“That’s me! Are you looking to become a member, because I’d ran and gotten the stamp while you watched―” she paused and gestured to the fight which had gotten increasingly large in the moment she’d looked away, giggling, “that..” 

  
  


When did so many people  _ join them _ ?

  
  


“Oh right! Uhm... on my thigh would be okay!” she pointed to the slit in her skirt where her thigh was exposed and grinned. Mirajane hummed cheerfully and leaned down, placing a bright white stamp on her bare thigh. It was  _ cold  _ but it eventually settled nicely on her skin. Bliss pulsed through her veins, making her cheeks warm and her eyes sparkle.  _ Valentine  _ was now a member of Fairy Tail! She reached down and rubbed at the guild mark, gasping at how it refused to smudge. Amazing!

  
  


“Thank you!” she grinned. Despite the absolute chaos becoming of their surroundings the two seemed very content. A warm aura clouding them as they chat between themselves. Valentine could literally  _ see  _ them becoming extremely acquainted in the future. Maybe missions together, a date or two. Who knows! It was so easy for them to fall into a small peace.

  
  


Well that  _ was  _ until a table came hurling their way. Valentine yelped and ducked, hands flying to cover her head as a massive man flew over her head, carrying a table with him. She flinched at the loud crash, staying huddled for a second. Valentine was  _ pretty sure  _ she heard a loud squeal as soon as the table landed and broke, and pitied the  _ poor  _ person it fell on. They’d probably be feeling that for a week. At least it isn’t her though. Ha!

  
  


“God is this hectic, huh Mira?” she laughed, eyes drifting back to―Mira? Where did she go? Frantically, her eyes darting around the room. Did she―did she run? Or maybe she joined that fight―or―or―

  
  


“Down here...!” a small voice croaked, and Valentine whirled around. Mirajane was grinning, stuck under both the table and the large man, “Yeah... hectic!” she strained before wheezing and collapsing. She gaped at the unconsious woman, a loud scream ripping from her throat. Did this always happen? Was Mirajane okay?

  
  


Valentine frowned, knowing she wouldn’t be able to lift the weight off of the woman, she looked back turns the clash of pe―

  
  


“Argh!” she grunted, falling forward as somebody came hurling into her back. Falling onto the ground with a thud she groaned and rubbed at her sore back. “Who’s hefty headass ran into―”

  
  


“Give me back my underwear, jerk!”

  
  


Holy  _ fuck. _

  
  


Is that dude...

  
  


Her face fell, shock and absolute and udder terror consuming her. There was  _ not  _ a man standing entirely  _ nude  _ right now. W―Was that Gray?  _ No way _ !

  
  


And yeah, yes way. Her suspicions were confirmed once he turned back to her, and trudged over calmly. Was he―insane?

  
  


“Excuse me miss, can I please borrow your underwear?” he asked nonchalantly, raising and eyebrow and holding his hand out. As if he was actually expecting her to― She grabbed a bat conveniently sat on a table and swung at him with full force, a loud metallic bang sounding through the hall along with sound of tables and chairs breaking, and overall chaos, “As if!”

  
  


Gray went tumbling down just as the lady killer, Loke, had come and swooped her up, blabbering about how insensitive the men here were... or something like that (it’s not like he was any better). And in a flash she was hitting the ground as Elfman Strauss (how was this guy  _ Mirajane _ ’s brother?) knocked Loke into the air and inconsiderately stepped on her, causing her to scream once again.

  
  


It was decided. She absolutely  _ hated  _ it here.


End file.
